Whacky Challenge #1

[A random oneshot written due to a challenge I took on another roleplay website.]

You are a pickle. You cannot walk, you cannot hold things, but you have a face for some reason. You are carried around by your horse butler, who has a cracked monocle over one eye. Today, the butler strolls you into a bar, where you see the place is empty of almost all life but two. The pig bartender, and a strange horse sitting nearby, who looks at you funny when you enter. The horse throws out insults at you for some reason, but you can't understand why, and the more it goes on, the more it starts slamming it's hooves around. You turn to your horse butler, but the horse stands there with it's front legs behind it's back. Finally, the angry horse has had enough and tells the pig butler something. The pig butler gets out a knife, you again turn to your butler, but it continues to do nothing.

(Warning, ridiculous punny story ahead. XD I was bored. )

"What's the matter with that horse?" the pickle asks, looking at his horse butler. The horse butler adjusts his monocle and glances back at his pickle.

"I told the horse I would sell him a fine asset to his aquarium," the horse butler suggests. "It's green and swims."

"Then why is he so mad?" the pickle asks.

"He is apparently unhappy with his new trop-pickle fish I just sold him, you in other words," the horse butler replied. "He's upset about this dill we made."

The pickle gasped. "You were going to sell me to him! Put me in a pickle like that? Betray me? Why? You're my butler!"

"There was never a dill moment with you around, pickle, we must part ways. I will always relish our time together, even the sour moments, but I fear they must end.

The pickle was appalled. "I'm jarred that you would do this to me!"

"Well you can just dill with it or else you'll pickle me off. Stop being so sour!"

"I can't," the pickle shot back. "I'm kind of a big dill!"

The horse butler huffed. "Well I'm afraid you'll just have to dill-iberate on what you're going to do now. I'm out of here before the horse's friend, that pig butler, kills me for gherkin him and his pal around!"

The horse trotted out of the bar leaving his immobile friend in a pickle. He was so green with envy that his horse butler had legs, but he didn't. He was stranded.

"I'll get you, horse butler, if it's the last thing I do!" the pig bartender cried, waving his knife, watching the pickle's former horse butler gallop out of the bar and down the side of the rainbow bridge before jumping through the clouds and landing in the arctic ocean screaming, "Don't boar me with your petty threats, pig! Tally ho!"