Letters from a Time Traveler: 8. Dear Sir Shiki

Dear Sir Shiki,

It's difficult finding the words to write you, even knowing I don't intend to send this to you. Perhaps I should start by saying I hope both you and Miss Len are doing well. I hope that somehow you've come to find the ordinary, peaceful life you've always dreamed of, and that you are enjoying your days no matter how many you may have left. Although, I probably shouldn't wish these things for you. I'm more than certain you've found them. You seemed determined to do so.

I sort of... miss you. Ah, well, nobody will ever see this so I see no harm in admitting it... I do miss you. I may not have been around you for long, but I miss hearing your words of encouragement and the feeling of knowing someone who understood me was on my side. I regret we had little time together, that we were unable to chat more. It would've been interesting to hear more about your life from your own lips, rather than through the reports I read at the Coalition. And it most certainly would've been interesting to hear more about the old murder games. It's a shame I'll probably never see you again. You were a good friend to me, one like no other.

But were we friends? At times, I wonder if you looked at me and ever really saw... me. When you looked at me, did you see Ilona, or did you only see the daughter of Elsa and Solaire? Did you look at me as a child who needed protecting, or as a young woman your age, an equal? I suppose either way I wouldn't blame you, but it would make me happier knowing you did actually see me. I suppose that's another one of life's mysteries I'll never know.

I'll give you a status update on how I'm doing here at the ODMA. I'm happy now that Miss Sophie is here! Have you ever met her? She was another friend of my mother's, just as you were. As for learning to control my abilities, it's a work in progress...

But honestly, Sir Shiki, it's a great struggle. I feel like the others get frustrated with me. They try to be patient, but I don't really feel as if they know what I'm going through. At times, it's as if I'm trapped in my own body with no control over my own actions. You understand, don't you? Of course you do. I wish you were here... if you were, perhaps I would then hear words of genuine understanding. My ODMA companions mean well, but they truly don't know... so I try my best to be patient with them.

Also, I-- Oh never mind. This letter is getting far too long. I'll write you again soon. Until then, have a most pleasant day, my dear friend.

--Ilona