Letters from a Time Traveler: 10. Dear Journal

Dear Journal,

It's been a while since I've written a personal vignette. I won't tear up journal entries as I do letters... or some of my letters at least. I will tear up the rest at some point. Maybe. It's just hard for me. Tearing up my letters is symbolic of me detaching from everyone as if I'm saying goodbye. Yet, deep down I don't want to say goodbye to the only person I've met who can understand me. But I digress, today I'm not writing this entry to speak of my struggle over the letters. I'm writing this to get something off my chest. I can't tell anyone about this yet... not even in fake letters I won't send.

I always felt as if I would live a long time. My powers have teleported me away from danger countless times and have even healed my body. I've always been confident that nothing will kill me. Nothing will hurt me, because nothing can hurt me. Those feelings of confidence all but faded after I began having a strange, recurring dream. It's a nightmare in which I find myself standing in a castle make of black ice. I walk forward and find a blond man with sinister blue eyes staring at me. He speaks to me, but I can never remember what he says. All I know is that I'm afraid. He reaches out and grabs me by my throat, lifting me off the ground. He strangles me, but that's not all. I begin to feel weaker, as if he's draining my very life out of my body. Afterwards, everything goes black and I wake up.

I want to tell myself that this is just a dream. I want to believe that with all my heart. Yet, the castle of black ice makes uncomfortable. It looks like one of my mother's creations. l have this horrible feeling like she's been kidnapped, her powers corrupted by the man in my dream. In my heart I know I need to return to Arendelle to confirm this, but I'm afraid. If I return, will I die like in my dream? Regardless, I should go home at some point. Perhaps after I finish my training. Whether I want to or not, I know this dream is something I have to face. I only wish I didn't have to do it alone...

--Ilona